I have had many accountability partners over the years and they have never done anything to help me with my goals. Not once. Why? Read on....

Accountability partners…everyone is looking for one.  I see it in so many groups I am a part of…they all encourage you to find an “accountability partner” to help you stay on track to reach your goals.

The intent behind finding an accountability partner is that if you can find someone working on similar goals as you, the two of you can “report in” to each other, share ideas, and push one another.  You are supposed to keep each other “accountable” when it comes to hitting your goals.

I have had many accountability partners over the years. 

They have never done anything to help me with my goals.

Not once.

Hear me out…it wasn’t their fault! They have ALL been incredible, amazing women. 

But…the real truth of it is this:  no one can keep you accountable but YOU.  That is the hard, honest truth, friends.

If you have been in an accountability partnership, let me know if either of these scenarios sound familiar:

Scenario 1:

The first week or two is AWESOME.  You report in daily…you cheer each other on…you KNOW this is what you have been missing. 

Then, “life” happens to one of you.  You miss a day.  You report into your accountability partner that you didn’t get something done and explain why.  They tell you it is ok…you can back on track tomorrow. 

One day turns into two.

Then you skip a day and forget to report.

Soon your “check-ins” start with something like, “Well..I was going to….”

The relationship just fizzles out.

Scenario 2:

The first week or two is AWESOME.  You report in daily…you cheer each other on…you KNOW this is what you have been missing. 

Then, one day your partner sees you doing something they don’t know how to do.  They reach out and ask for help. You help them.  2 days later you are helping them again.  Soon, your accountability check-ins turn into mini training sessions. 

Your partnership slowly transforms into a one-way street where one of you is doing all the taking and the other is doing all of the giving.  What was supposed to be a mutual accountability relationship turns into a mentor / teaching program. 

I’ve been in both of these situations more than once.  Neither one will help you grow.  Ever.

The day I finally stepped back and stopped looking for the right partner, or group, or network to help me stay accountable was the day the magic happened.

THAT was the day that I realized a very important fact. 

It is 100% YOUR responsibility to stay accountable.

No one can make you do the work.  Period.  Ever.

Reporting to someone what you did for the day might motivate you…for a little while.  But is not lasting.  What is lasting is connecting to your true motivation…connecting to that fire inside of you that keeps you going…connecting to the real reason why you set these goals in the first place.  Once you have that…that is the day you can be accountable to you and start making progress.

Once I did that, guess what happened?  I found exactly what I was looking for….my success partner!!  And you know what?  She is over-the-top amazing.

What makes this partnership so different?  Let me tell you.

1. We never make excuses.
2. We don’t hold each other accountable. We just support each other.
3. We both bring unique skills and ideas to the table..and share them openly.
4. We genuinely want success for each other.
5. We are both competitive…but not with each other.
6. When one is down, we pick them up…but never ever stay there. We keep moving.
7. We are not in the same business.
8. When we see each other getting of track, we call each other out.
9. We talk…daily.
10. We set big..scary…make you want to pee your pants goals..and we OWN them.

At the end of the day, we will each continue doing our work regardless of whether we have this partnership or not…and we both know that.  The minute I stop showing up and doing my part, I fully expect her to move on.  And she knows the same is true.

We are each responsible for our own work, success and failures. But we both know we are better together. 

So, here is my advice to you.

First, find your real motivation. 

Second, be your own accountability partner.

The rest will come.