I don’t fit in. 

I never have….and there is a good chance I never will. 

And you know what?  I’m totally fine with it. 

So, now that I have put that out there….I have to be 100% honest.  This “being totally fine with it” was a long journey.  A very very very long journey…and a lot of it was NOT pretty. 

In my effort to “fit in”, I made bad choices.  I agreed with things I knew in my heart were not good for me.  I sat silent when I should have spoken up and I spoke up when I should have remained silent.  And guess what?  I still never “fit in.”  I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.

Why am I sharing this now?  Over the last few months, SEVERAL women have told me with great distress that they just don’t fit in and it is killing them on the inside. And…every single time someone tells me this….I look them straight in the eyeballs and assure them, “I get it.  Believe me I do.” 

I am convinced that 99% of women feel this way.  And it hurts my heart to say that.  It hurts my heart that so many of us, myself included, have wasted so much precious time and energy feeling distraught about “not fitting in.” 

Guess what?  I have GREAT news!  You can change this.  You and you alone.  Truth bomb coming….fitting in simply means being comfortable in your own skin.  It has absolutely NOTHING to do with anyone else.  It has nothing to do with how others view you and 100% to do with how you treat yourself.  

Fitting in means waking up each day and being the best YOU you can be.  It means looking at yourself at the end of the day and feeling secure knowing you did your best all day.  It means that you were true to your highest sense of being and your highest sense of self.  It means you gave more than you received.  It means you forgave yourself for your mistakes and learned from them.  It means you forgave OTHERS for their mistakes, too. 

I am currently writing this while sitting in Cabo on an incentive trip I worked my ass off to earn.  I am here with 200+ other rockstar #bossbabes that earned it as well.  And you know what?  This is the first group trip where I feel like I fit in.  I am actually enjoying 100% of this trip. Want to know what changed? ME!

Instead of worrying about what to say, where to sit, who to talk to, and how I look in my bathing suit, I am focused on the moment I am in.  I am soaking up the sunshine. I am soaking up this precious time with my husband. I am meeting so many new and wonderful people and learning all about THEM.  I am focused on spreading joy everywhere I go instead of focused on my own crap.  I am looking outward instead of in.  I am being my best self.  And I am eating my weight in guacamole.

Fitting in is overrated.  You keep doing you, friends.  As long as you fit in with yourself, your life will continue to be blessed.